Personal Development and Effectiveness
The Man Who Uses Self-Control
the_man_who_uses_self_control
Joseph Ayeni
Joseph Ayeni


The man who is conscious and constantly applies his consciousness to the things that he is aware of has earned the premium development of the will faculty to live above the whims and caprices of his environment. Such a man has developed habits that bring down achieving but weak men who succumb to easy virtues as they daily navigate this space.

Is it possible to be an achiever in one area but weak in another? Is it not a certain strength that makes it possible to attract riches to oneself? Sure it is possible. Men are able to identify and use opportunity to make and grow riches but same men are so morally flaccid that they fall into snares because of the dark wolf they decided to feed.

For any person to live by the code of self-discipline, such a person must first be aware of himself. Such a person must be persuaded and convinced of the relevance of such values especially in lonely moments of deep and intense trials where men walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It is difficult to separate self-discipline from caution. Both values co-exist.

Self-control is not commonplace. It is power developed intentionally and deliberately for the purpose of keeping oneself free from harm and unspotted from secular filth and defilement. He that must endure in this ephemeral space must use self-control to very uncommon levels.

If a man must accomplish purpose in any sphere of human endeavour, he must mortify his members. He must subject those parts of his that make him act poorly and prevent him from conducting himself in propriety toward others. That man must dwell in the place where a few tread. That is the place of good character. Good character is the place of victory.

There is a right way and there is a wrong way for man to do all and anything that he has to do. Any man who must be accounted wise and diligent in propriety must always use the discretion to seek the right way to do what he has decided to do. This is a price that must be paid.

Though he makes a mistake or indeed many mistakes, he only learns premium lessons from such mistakes. Those are the mistakes that bequeath understanding. Understanding is earned through implemention, not by the reading or studying of books. The potency of true comprehension comes through action.

The vices that ensnare men are the base habits they inculcate over a period and which they do not struggle against. They willingly release themselves to those things and label them their infirmities. They grow infirm by each day and fritter virtue away gradually.

With glee they discuss the subjects. With ease they ruminate on them and when the memory faculty reminds them of anything in connection with those things, they not only mine them, they pursue, activate and apply themselves to the reminders.

The company they keep are of likeminds whose past times are laddened with same fancies in equal and otherwise magnitude. They sometimes compete against each other or one another in their escapades because their preoccupations have become sport to them and their company. Do not birds of a feather flock together?

The man who uses self-control takes thought of his deeds. This person thinks on his ways. In his lonely moments, he engages with self and comes to a decision. Decision is a process of thinking in which we learn to be aware of our own thoughts. It is a critical point of consciousness. It is power.

The worth or quality of decisions are proved by their activation and implementation to achieve the outcomes envisaged. It is not a walk in the park. It is a pact with discomfort. Great decisions are known by equally great execution. It is impossible to achieve this great value without the self-discipline to quit doing some things and to cling to some other things.

It takes a compelling decision to move desires to measurable and time-bound goals. Audacious goals may require same and more. Some things must be sacrificed for some other things. It takes life to preserve life.

The man who uses self-control is persuaded by his conviction to walk in circumspection and away from the rudiments of ephemeral proddings that do not endure. While men of less value applaud them even after they have been taken in an evil net, it is obvious that they only reaped the works of their hands for what a man sows, the same shall he reap.

We sow deliberately based on our specific intentions. He that sows has expectations. For their expectation not to be cut off, they have to put in the work all through the course of their undertaking.

Like a farmer, they must nurture that which they have planted. They must weed their crop, they must protect the crops from scavengers and at night and day, they must stay vigilant so that the enemy does not creep in unawares to sow evil seed while they sleep.

The man who uses self-control is cautious to live and walk through the terrain conscious that his every moment is being watched. The enemy is always prowling looking for whom to devour. There must never be a time to forget this. Forgetting this makes one the enemy of oneself.

The common enemy of one is enemy of all and no friend to any. It is the reason we must use self-control for ourselves as well as for others. We are equipped with observation and other virtues to help us master ourselves and to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

This is the man who uses caution in season and out of season. Self-control becomes a program that runs within the subconscious mind. It is the software installed in the hardware and constantly updated through study, observation, adaptability, constant mortification, separation from all vices and alignment with all virtues. It is life sacrificed to values and virtuous living for all time.

When we get so comfortable till we throw caution to the wind, there is a price to pay for such looseness. The recompense is usually grave and irreparable. This is where we must stay constantly alert because men watch the unguided hours of other men. This is the life we live in and it is one full of snares and nets.

Men who live loosely and carelessly live recklessly and cannot escape falling into the gins laid for them by other men who watch them unawares. The days are truly evil.

"Mr Joseph Ayeni's book is a well researched compendium that addresses several, but salient subjects that can significantly enhance human dignity, success and fulfilment."
David Imhonopi
PhD. Covenant University, Ota,
Ogun State, Nigeria.

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